TALKING TO GHOSTS by Luke Rivers
I heard she talks to ghosts
I heard she sends them off to Heaven
I’ve got a few inside my head
I wish to hell she’d shoot mine dead.
ONE THING by Luke Rivers
Sex is one thing
Love is everything
But most people do anything
To get that one thing.
TROUBLE by Luke Rivers
I see trouble ahead and its name is woman
Can’t live with ‘em and can’t live without ‘em.
They chase me up and they chase me down
They chased me right out of town
But I always come back and you know why
They got something so good it makes grown men cry.
LIFE IS FULL by Luke Rivers
I once wrote a song so funny
It made me a mountain of money.
But this song I know won’t be a hit
Because it says life is full of shit.
JUST THE SEX, MA’AM by Luke Rivers
I want to do it to her
I want to make it happen
I want to do it again and again
I want the sex to never end.
A FRIEND LIKE YOU by Luke Rivers
You said you had my back
You said you’d be my main support
Harry Potter had a friend like you
His name was Voldemort.
Popeye had his Brutus
Caesar had one too
Cleopatra had her asp
Buddy, I’ve got you.
THE GIMME SONG by Luke Rivers
I’ll pose for the cameras
Show off my décor
And in return
You can gimme some more.
Take from the sick
Take from the poor
Do whatever it takes
Just gimme some more.
CHOCOLATE WITHOUT CALORIES by Luke Rivers
I asked a woman what girls want
She said chocolate without calories
Shoes that look good and don’t hurt their feet
And men who love them no matter how much they weigh.
I get it, I said in reply
Women want men who smile when they lie.
WHEN WORDS GO WRONG by Luke Rivers
You ignore all my requests
You never do what I say
So why did you listen
When I told you to go away?
CALL by Luke Rivers
Whatever happens, I’ll come if you call
Whether it’s a bruise caused by a fall
Or you weren’t invited to a ball
For any reason big or small
Just pick up the phone and call.
EVIL WOMAN BLUES by Luke Rivers
Skin like satin covers a blackened soul
Her lips are warm, her heart is cold.
She’s an evil woman with an angel’s smile
Don’t be fooled, she’s the devil’s child.
PROUD by Luke Rivers
The first time I saw her I loved her
The first time she saw me she hated me
My heart swelled like a parade balloon
She puked up her breakfast in the bathroom.
She tells me all she wants is her mother’s love
And I keep trying to be a dad she’s proud of.
WITHOUT A SCRIPT by Luke Rivers
We were about to go off like a rocket
But the package wasn’t in my pocket
Just as she said “We can’t do this”
I bent and gave her a kiss
Long and hard and not on her face
But in a deliciously different place.
In appreciation she returned the favor
It’s a memory I will always savor
Sometimes life takes a funny twist
The best lines come without a script.
MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL by Luke Rivers
When I was young I wanted fortune and fame
My dreams came true and I ain’t gonna complain.
But the best things in life really are free
Like Monday Night Football on TV.
DAMN FOOLS by Luke Rivers
You treat her like she’s dumber than dumb
When she’s worth the moon and the sun.
You’re the one who should be ashamed
You’re the one who’s losing the game.
Some people can’t recognize precious jewels
Because they’re nothing but damn fools.
MOMENT BY MOMENT by Luke Rivers
I wish I could rip the bad from your dreams
I wish I could cut the evil from your life
Though you tell me it doesn’t fester
I look at your face and I know better.
My regrets won’t change your past
It’s been and gone too damn fast
But we can change the future through the present
Because we create our lives moment by moment.
DO IT! by Luke Rivers
You keep saying you want to do it
So do it
Life gets in your way you say
So screw it
If only you could make more time
So make it.
Ain’t it easier sitting in front of that TV
Night after night, watching other people live?
When are you gonna get it through your head
The only good excuse is that you’re dead?
You can do anything you ever wished
But you gotta get off your butt and do it!
LOVE AND BEER by Luke Rivers
I hurt when she’s far
I hurt when she’s near
The only time I don’t hurt
Is when I’m drinking my beer.
BUMP by Luke Rivers
Witches and fairies go bump in the night
Ghosts and goblins will give you a fright
They don’t scare the body straining against mine
In a Halloween dance that feels mighty fine.
CONTENT COPYRIGHT 2010. EDIE RAMER. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED